Fathers Day Reflections; Reposting a Review

 Today is Fathers' Day. If we're honest with ourselves, each day of our lives we are reflections of the roles our fathers played, for good or bad, whether we knew them or not, None of us would be here to write or read this unless we hade been fathered at some point in the process that led to eyes to this page. 

I've written celebrations of fathers, mine included, on past Fathers' Days (HERE, HERE, HERE). It was my great joy to have wonderful parents, including a dad who was devoted to being the best he could be. How he defined that responsibility was not always how I might have written the  part, but that's generally a good thing. Uppermost in my memory is the absolute certainty that he loved us unconditionally. As a kid, I focused on the "conditional" aspects of life, always clearly presented-- grades, curfews, fights with siblings, chores, etc. Through it all, the beauty of my childhood is that i really never needed to question whether or not any infraction could shatter that parental love. It was a foundation I wish for every life born into the world. 

With that said, today I was drawn to a book that I featured back in 2020. (Yep, even typing that year brings memories of pandemic era). Thankfully, libraries were some of the first institutions that found ways to get back into business. I read and wrote my way through those tough days, thanks to libraries. And publishers managed to keep releasing books, although the flow reduced for quite a while. Even so, one new title reached me that comes to mind over and over through the years since then. 

NEAL PORTER BOOKS, 2020

I TALK LIKE A RIVER is written by Jordan Scott and illustrated by Sydney Smith. My review of it at the time can be read HERE, if interested. In that review I focused on the remarkable qualities of the writing and the illustration that later garnered major awards. (This creative pair have since produced other titles that also win awards. Check them out.)

Today, Fathers' Day, this memorable picture book came to mind yet again. It's a book about a boy who struggles with stuttering, although that is never said explicitly. We know the boy struggles. That his internal view of himself reflects the reactions he reads from others as he tries to express his ideas and feelings. 

His struggles for fluency are illuminated, literally in the images (an al-time best cover, IMO) and lyrically ninth narrative. I found myself connected with his self-doubt and longing, though I never stuttered. (Those who grew up with me likely wished that i would be tongue-tied!).

What I felt throughout, and what is minimally but powerfully referenced within the brief text, is the power of his father's acceptance and advice. 

By guiding his son to a metaphor that invites identity with strength, power, change, and beauty, the father didn't simply help his son through a particular incident or life challenge. He offered an analogy, a tool, a source of strength  that could be accessed in the moment and in the future. He presented an alternative to the immediacy of pain and struggle, a light at the end of the tunnel, a way through the present and into the future, providing relief in the moment and promise of better times. 

I just finished reading two (excellent) adult novels in which fathers are portrayed with recognizable strength and abilities. The stories involved sports, business, communities, and many settings in which fatherly advice is passed to the next generation, including coaching. Today's various tributes to dads in social media, news shorts, and more will express thanks for love and support, mention dad jokes and golf or other sports, and otherwise celebrate the ways fathers have shaped our lives. Life lessons will be celebrated, from work habits to honesty to fairness. ALL are worthy of praise. 

When this book came to mind, and then lingered, I wondered what it was about this particular father that had reached out to me. Reflection brought me to this:

SMALL MOMENTS of FAITH

INSTILLING CONFIDENCE

I could be wrong, but I can't imagine many cards or memes or other quick-shot accolades to fathers will focus on those two aspects of powerful "father-ing". Perhaps I'm wrong, but I wanted to call it out here. I hope you will read the book I shared. It will do a better job than I have at making clear what I've tried to say. Whether your own "father" was biological or found (a step parent, a coach, a neighbor, or teacher), I hope you can reflect, too, and recognize small moments in which you felt seen in moments of weakness, and led to a sense of competence. When your capacity to deal with hard things was revealed to you and affrirmed by a trusted adult. When you recognized your own power. 

If so, and if you are lucky enough to still have that person in your lives, consider talking about that with them. I would if i could. 

Another DAD Book, With Links To More!

 With Fathers Day looming, I tend toward nostalgia with a spritz of melancholy and a truckload of gratitude. Same thing happens around Mothers Day. Like a magnet, these days draw me to the phone, to the card section, and to writing. The blessing in all of my missing parents long since gone from the globe is that I was raised by two loving parents whose memories flood me with joy. That's not to say they were perfect or that our very borderline middle class lives were easy, but we were safe, protected, respected, and always sure that something fun was possible. 

Whispering Coyote Press

In this short post, I'm featuring a book from 2009, a small press, and apparently no longer in print. No worries, you can always get it at your library, or purchase it from a secondary source. And if you, like me, had a father who knew how to make magic out of nothing, you will want to do that. 

DANCING WITH DADDY is written by Willy Welch and illustrated by Liza Woodruff. the nostalgia of this book is undeniable, from the title page featuring an old fashioned console radio to the clothing and standard-white-people cast. In fact, though, the story quickly moves form the specifics to the emotional impact of those memorable moments when a little girl (or boy) puts their feet on their daddy's shoes and they dance the night away.

The magical extension within this story/song is that their music moves into the wild, leading to a contagion of toe-tapping mimicry among animals of land, sea, and air. All the way to the carry-off-to-bed and tucking in, this is a book of love.

Carolrhoda, 2020

For a look at another more recent book that showcases dads around the world, of every age and race and ethnicity and social situation, check out this review on my website blog, HERE. DADS offers photographic examples of other familiar (universal) ways in which fathers-dads-daddies-papas "show up", making memories and making a difference. 

While you're at it, check out this prior post featuring TWO books with the same title, I AM A BIRD. And two more from a couple of years ago, each of which celebrates the little ways in which dads (and dad-surrogates) deserve their special day, but also bring boundless love and strength in every day of young (and older) lives. 

I hope you'll take a look at any or all of the above. If your dad is still around to do it, give him/them a hug- in real life or virtually. Just do it.

Jabari Jumps... With Dad's Help

Candlewick Press. June, 2017

With Fathers' Day barely a blink away, the June release of JABARI JUMPS arrives on bookstore shelves just in time. Author/illustrator Gaia Cornwall has produced a perfect picture book, with natural appeal on the surface, and plenty to discover when you dive below the surface. Mirroring Jabari's exuberant attitude after (spoiler alert) mastering the high dive, readers will want to return to this book again and again to revel in the story, the warmly supportive relationship, and to discover even greater thrills within its pages. 

The generous trim size allows for expansive, sunny, watery, double-page spreads, turn after turn featuring expressive characters with just enough detail to connect with urban readers (skylines) and swimmers, divers, and families everywhere.

I was delighted by Jabari's gusto, bravado, and attention to his cautionary inner voice. Even more so, I was touched by his dad's sensitive awareness and deft responses to affirm, reassure, and encourage independent choice. From the title spread onward, Jabari, his dad, and his toddler sister are portrayed tenderly, energetically, recognizably, and humorously. The images and color choices had me smelling chlorine and hearing the splashing laughter of a summer community pool. 

I'm not the only one to celebrate this new release. School Library Journal's starred review summarizes the storyline and concludes: "VERDICT Jabari’s story will help assuage the fears kids experience when faced with a new and daunting adventure. A terrific seasonal storytime read-aloud that’s perfect for one-on-one sharing."–Mindy Hiatt, Salt Lake County Library Services

A review in The Washington Post featured JABARI JUMPS for young readers in an article focused on books that inspire bravery in readers. I've also read  and recommend the two titles for older readers, GIRL RISING: CHANGING THE WORLD ONE GIRL AT A TIME, by Tanya Lee Stone, and THE HATE U GIVE, by Angie Thomas. But I'm writing here about picture book readers. For Fathers Day bonding and months beyond, read this excerpt from Kathie Meizner's review to see why this is a must-have title:

 "   full of the light blue of summer sky and water and attuned to the perspective of a small boy whose ambition is just a little bit bigger than he is."

Back to that perspective, and the quiet confidence Jabari finds through his dad's acceptance and reassurance. During the summer of 1945, thousands upon thousands of American and other soldiers were in Europe, winding down from their successful effort to defeat Hitler's forces. Most, like Dad, barely made it home for Christmas. 

My dad was among them, waiting  through the months-long process involved in returning home to his wife and baby girl, my sister. That's him in the picture. Those who don't know him might see in this picture a confidant, steady young man. I see my dad wearing a wool uniform on a steamy beach because he would never set foot in the water. I see my dad who was desperately seasick on his  voyage to and from Europe, a man who never lost his fear of water, but never transferred that to the four little waterbugs he raised. 

It didn't hurt that Mom loved the water and taught us each how to swim. Despite his lack of enthusiasm for the water, Dad willingly scraped together his limited funds, patched our old station wagon with duct tape if necessary, and hauled us to our annual vacation in a rented cottage on Lake Erie. There, day after day, he donned his swim trunks, waded out with us into water that he feared, for us as much as for him, while never once allowing that fear to pass from his hand to ours as we bounced, splashed, and reveled in what felt like an ocean. 

Dad  came to my mind as I read JABARI JUMPS, the first time and each time since. Jabari's dad isn't in the water until the later spreads, even then only up to his waist. He never takes his eyes off of his son and is ever-attentive to his water-winged baby girl. What mattered to me won't matter to everyone, and kids will certainly identify with Jabari, not his dad. Yet I'm thinking there will be plenty of kids who could read this and find in the dad's gentle messages the comfort, confidence, and support they may lack in their own relationships. 

And they will be brave.

As Dad was.