Where Is My Sister? A Gentle Reflection on Sibling Loss

 Few books address a child's experience of death, although some are so well done they merit call backs HERE (elders) , HERE (pets) , and HERE (Siblings).

WHERE IS MY SISTER, written by Shannon Gibney and illustrated by Huy Von Lee,  takes on the least-addressed topic in death, that of a child lost at or before birth. The extreme shift from glowing anticipation to fierce loss is a brave emotional journey to attempt, and these creators achieved something special and noteworthy. 

University of Minnesota press, 2026

In this case, the rarely addressed topic of siblings/children who die at birth is presented with  gentle nuance and deeply resonant validation of the process of grieving such an impossible loss. The cover image and many of the illustrations reveal the tragedy and loss felt throughout the family, with the father and older brother seeking comfort in faith and hope and pursuit of the spirit of the lost Toni, the coming sister whose life was so lovingly anticipated. 

But even-younger Salome struggles with the WHERE of her missing sister, not the why or how such a loss could have happened. This is quest story, Salome's quest is to find and keep her sister close at hand. Longing to believe that Toni might hear a story she reads aloud, that she is part of the family circle-hug, that she surrounds each of them throughout their day is reflected as "somewhat" satisfying when we see the final illustrations in which Salome's expression still holds sadness, but the prospect of better days and acceptance is evident. The strength of family loving resonates throughout the text and images.

I particularly appreciated that each member of the family was allowed a spread or more to suggest their personal journeys through their loss, with Mom clearly struggling the most. As in THE RABBIT LISTENED, among my all-time favorite picture books, Salome senses the value of simply staying near her mother, catching a tear and clinging to the hope that it might hold a bit of her baby sister Toni in its salty essence. 

This is certainly an ideal book for any family dealing with such an indescribable loss. As with so many other powerful books on difficult topics, it is also a superb book to share with everyone, since the experience is both heartbreakingly specific (building empathy) and also metaphorical about any tragic loss after extended anticipation and hope. That comparison is not meant to diminish the immeasurable suffering of families facing the loss of an expected child. It is meant to to suggest that everyone carries loss in different ways, and this book offers a loving portrayal of nonjudgmental and potentially helpful ways to struggle through painful times. 

This is not an upbeat or easy read, but it is one that opens conversations about deep feelings, especially among very young audiences. It does nothing to "fix" anyone else's loss, other than than to suggest that none of us are alone, and seeing the possibility of deep sadness in others can only make us better at being human to, and for, those around us as they experience  their journeys.