Oh, how I wish I had this new picture book while I was in the classroom daily. For preschoolers, for elementary kids, for middle grade and high school kids.For preservice teachers.
Well, for everyone.
Little ones need to learn to regulate their emotions and take accountability for their actions and consequences. They need to empathize with the feelings of others, especially when their own actions caused them. And adults (not just teachers) need to learn how to help that growth in the process take place. One version or another of meaningless apologies seem to be everywhere these days, from a mindless "sorry" in passing to a publicly issued version of the title. A sort of "sorry you're a snowfake" statement.
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| DIAL BOOKS FOR YOUN G READERS, 2024 |
The gist of this book is what I assumed before reading. Namely, that someone had been unfair or unkind and then was not good at accepting responsibility for their actions. The cover offers that premise well, including that such a person being asked to write an apology will likely make them even angrier and in a deeper state of denial. Art on the back of the book jacket shows that the infraction was not a major one or irreparable and could have been resolved rather easily.
So far, so good, and so anticipated.
What unfolds in the first several spreads and page turns is a nearly wordless account of Jack's successive attempts, retries, and the growing fury he feels as well a the growing awareness of him among others in class. The few words used on successive attempts are scrawled on crumpled note paper (SORRY... SORRY ZOE -JACK.... DEAR ZOE, I'M SORRY YOU GOT MAD JACK...) with that last note adding writing in a different hand: Dear Jack, Please try again. Love, Ms. Rice)
That format and book design continues throughout, allowing readers (young or old) to read and understand a model of the ways in which intervention, allowance for time, persistence, and gradual growth to acceptance of responsibility can achieve long term change.
Jack goes through stages of composition that are first intended to deny everything, to satisfy the teacher, and to put this behind him. If left without further expectation, the experience would confirm his view of himself in relation to others. By reprocessing the request for a real apology, readers can view the visual account of a normal progression of a day in class with Jack's intense drama in the background. It does not separate him from the group, but allows him to see the event in perspective with the full day and the magnitude (or lack of it) of his actions. His letters become more sincere, including empathy for Zoe's sadness, while still dodging accountability.
Eventually, Jack's letter incorporates what we see to be Ms. Rice's support: Three things an apology must include.
What I did.
That I'm sorry.
And I'll help you to fix it.
This takes into account the adult's recognition of and respect for Jack's improved effort at writing something meaningful, then structuring an acceptable response for his success. His letter does what was asked.
That, my fiends, would be what I expected and would welcome in this type of book, one that might even be called "didactic", although necessary, and handled in a realistic way. But, there's more.
If it ended there, we'd assume that Zoe received the note. But then we see that Jack is furious that she and friends built something and did not include him. He demands an apology although he knocked their new project down again. I won't reveal the closing pages because they are quite clever, realistic, and worth reading for yourself.
While this is, in fact, a picture focused on writing or providing a good apology, one that means something, it is also a exploration of what and how we learn, of how we grow and use what we've learned, of the "big feelings" that can lead us to acts that we then want to deny do not regret. Actions that hurt others and yet we feel justified in choosing. That's often because we can't free ourselves of the shame and/or anger that surround our actions. It is also a manual for preservice teachers (or those already in classrooms, or for parents with squabbling siblings) to manage such emotions and growth in a way that allows time and space for change.
I was certain I'd want to read this, and consider if it should be included in my reflections in this blog. I can't begin to post about every picture book I read. This "second level" of story is one that served as a constructive model in familiar circumstances but also moved into the realm of the WHY of hurting others, the HOW of fixing, and the WAYS to become able to manage our own feelings and respect those of others. It modeled self-regulation not only in children but in adults. It moved from demanding apologies (and acceptance of those) to genuine personal development.
And it moved my reaction from a strong recommendation to a rave. Please check it out.
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