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Sep 2, 2018

Good Night Rituals with BOOKS, and More!

I began working on this post by searching for previous posts in which I discuss the importance of bedtime books in my childhood. I addressed the importance of books from birth onward in this post. It seems I never directly addressed the powerful role my own parents played (BOTH Mom and Dad) in shaping me and my siblings as lifelong readers. I honestly cannot remember a night that didn't include time spent with read-aloud/follow-along books, most often with the kids all piling into one of our beds like puppies. 
I grew up at a time when publishing children's books and our limited economic conditions meant access to books was NOTHING like the current plethora of glorious choices available to families today. Our home kid-lit library contained only about five or six traditional-tale anthologies and a couple of well-worn Disney books (based directly on the movies). Here's a look at our nightly go-to collection: 

Repetition was NEVER an issue, since both Mom and Dad loved to read, recognized the impact of ritual, and would interpret the voices, drama, and humor of those stories with unlimited variations of expression and style. 

Now that school is back in session, it's a perfect time to establish reasonable bedtimes with a read-aloud ritual. To encounter resistance to summer's end and summer habits is not uncommon and becomes most clear at bedtime. The first two books here reflect some of that normal pattern in ways that are both amusing and comforting, while also serving to ease the day to its end in the best possible way- with books!
GOOD NIGHT! GOOD NIGHT! is written and illustrated by Carin Berger. If yours is already a GOOD NIGHT MOON family, you'll recognize some parallels with this book, but also appreciate its delightful, unique approach. The back cover question says it all: Will these silly little bunnies EVER go too sleep? 
The spare text combines with simple but charming collage illustrations to make the problem and the pattern clear:  After early page turns revealing familiar rituals, there this: 
"Good-night hugs. AGAIN. 
Good-night... DANCES!
dances?"

It's a sheer delight, a giggle-inducing discovery that holds up during repeated readings. 
A less subtle version of bedtime resistance can be found in 10 LITTLE NINJAS, written by Miranda Paul and illustrated by Nate Wragg. I wrote about this book and bedtime battle in a prior post that included other great bedtime books. You can check those out, here. It would be fun to include both of these titles in a nightly rotation. The kids will be reciting along with you, easing themselves to sleep in the process. 

What matters even more than the books you use (or how limited your selection of books may be) is the message your children will absorb, the feelings they'll develop, the sense of empowerment they'll gain. You'll transmit all that and more by spending a few minutes at your child's bedside each night sharing books, stories, and even music. You'll be raising book-lovers and readers. That's absolutely true.
But you'll also be raising individuals who have an enormous capacity to see themselves as competent actors on the world stage.

I say that in a purely anecdotal and personal way. I was privileged to grow up in a stable, loving home with plenty of daily squabbles but a huge amount of security. Trying to separate the effects of our nightly readings from the other hours of the day and say definitively that this variable made the difference in my own life is unsupportable, but feels undeniable. I know with certainty that all of it mattered, but those nightly minutes with Mom or Dad are some of the warmest memories of my long life. And what I gained from them stretches far beyond literacy.  

Author Michael Leannah must know this truth, too. Perhaps that awareness comes from his own childhood experiences, but I'm certain it also comes from his perspective and practice as a parent. His recent release, GOODNIGHT WHISPERS is illustrated by Dani Torrent. (If you or the kids in your lives have had concerns about frequently reported acts of violence in our society, you'll want to know about Michael's earlier picture book, MOST PEOPLE, review and interview HERE.)
I'm confident of Michael's agreement because his text cuts to the heart of the bedtime ritual. 
In his story the loving father does not read to his growing child, but begins with nightly whispers and progresses to a lifetime of loving whispers. Each whisper is an affirmation of his daughter's goodness, strength, persistence, skills, determination, and capacity to succeed in the world. In a very real sense this dad's day-to-day reassurances and comforts are the opposite of the much-maligned lament that "kids today" are over-praised and becoming "snowflakes". 
Instead, the situation-specific whispers acknowledge a child's shortcomings, failures, and struggles while providing reassurance that the dad has seen and values the unique qualities, inner strengths, and attitudes his daughter displays amid the challenges of life. 
What matters in this book, in the  whispers, bedtime stories, and even family dinnertable time, is the consistency of the practice, the ritual, and the many ways in which the messages convey confidence and love. 
And WORTH.
So, YES to reading at bedtime, for all of the literacy and life practices that will develop. 
But an even more powerful YES to doing things intentionally with kids, on a consistent and caring basis. These will be the moments, repeated daily, that will seep into the characters of kids and carry them on through life. 

To read about another family ritual, here's an archived Father's Day post about the FUNNY PAPERS.







2 comments:

  1. Such a lovely tribute to your parents and such an encouraging message to all of us parents!

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  2. Thanks, Annette, for reading and for stopping by to comment. Spending only a few minutes, whether it's reading to kids or sharing a note like this, can really make someone's day. your note made mine!

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