Apologies Analyzed, and more: I'M SORRY YOU GOT MAD

 Oh, how I wish I had this new picture book while I was in the classroom daily. For preschoolers, for elementary kids, for middle grade and high school kids.For preservice teachers. 

Well, for everyone. 

Little ones need to learn to regulate their emotions and take accountability for their actions and consequences. They need to empathize with the feelings of others, especially when their own actions caused them. And adults (not just teachers) need to learn how to help that growth in the process take place. One version or another of  meaningless apologies seem to be everywhere these days, from a mindless "sorry" in passing to a publicly issued version of the title. A sort of "sorry you're a snowfake" statement.

DIAL BOOKS FOR YOUN G READERS, 
2024

I'M SORRY YOU GOT MAD is written by Kyle Lukoff and illustrated by Julie Kwon. (click on each creator for some interesting background, but especially to note the delicate handling of facial expressions in sample of art by Kwon.)

The gist of this book is what I assumed before reading. Namely, that someone had been unfair or unkind and then was not good at accepting responsibility for their actions. The cover offers that premise well, including that such a person being asked to write an apology will likely make them even angrier and in a deeper state of denial. Art on the back of the book jacket shows that the infraction was not a major one or irreparable and could have been resolved rather easily. 

So far, so good, and so anticipated. 

What unfolds in the first several spreads and page turns is a nearly wordless account of Jack's successive attempts, retries, and the growing fury he feels as well a the growing awareness of him among others in class. The few words used on successive attempts are scrawled on crumpled note paper  (SORRY... SORRY ZOE -JACK.... DEAR ZOE, I'M SORRY YOU GOT MAD   JACK...) with that last note adding writing in a different hand: Dear Jack, Please try again. Love, Ms. Rice)

That format and book design continues throughout, allowing readers (young or old) to read and understand a model of the ways in which intervention, allowance for time, persistence, and gradual growth to acceptance of responsibility can achieve long term change. 

Jack goes through stages of composition that are first intended to deny everything, to satisfy the teacher, and to put this behind him. If left without further expectation, the experience would confirm his view of himself in relation to others. By reprocessing the request for a real apology, readers can view the visual account of a normal progression of a day in class with Jack's intense drama in the background. It does not separate him from the group, but allows him to see the event in perspective with the full day and the magnitude (or lack of it) of his actions. His letters become more sincere, including empathy for Zoe's sadness, while still dodging accountability.

Eventually, Jack's letter incorporates what we see to be Ms. Rice's support: Three things an apology must include. 

What I did.

That I'm sorry.

And I'll help you to fix it.

This takes into account the adult's recognition of and respect for Jack's improved effort at writing something meaningful, then structuring an acceptable response for his success. His letter does what was asked.

That, my fiends, would be what I expected and would welcome in this type of book, one that might even be called "didactic", although necessary, and handled in a realistic way. But, there's more.

If it ended there, we'd assume that Zoe received the note. But then we see that Jack is furious that she and friends built something and did not include him. He demands an apology although he knocked their new project down again. I won't reveal the closing pages because they are quite clever, realistic, and worth reading for yourself.

While this is, in fact, a picture book  focused on writing or providing a good apology, one that means something, it is also an exploration of what and how we learn, of how we grow and use what we've learned, of the "big feelings" that can lead us to acts that we then want to deny and do not regret. Actions that hurt others and yet we feel justified in choosing to do them. That's often because we can't free ourselves of the shame and/or anger that surround our actions. It is also a manual for pre-service teachers (or those already in classrooms, or for parents with squabbling siblings) to manage such emotions and growth in a way that allows time and space for change.

I was certain I'd want to read this to consider if it should be included in my reflections in this blog. I can't begin to post about every picture book I read. This "second level" of story tipped the scale in favor of featuring it and sharing my reactions. This basic story AND second level serve as a constructive model in familiar circumstances but also move into the realm of the WHY of hurting others, the HOW of fixing, and the WAYS to become able to manage our own feelings and respect those of others. It modeled self-regulation not only in children but in adults. It moved from demanding apologies (and acceptance of those) to genuine personal development. 

And it moved my reaction from a strong recommendation to a rave. Please check it out.

 

THE RED JACKET: A Lively, Laughable Parable

HARPER, 2023

 Who wouldn't want a RED JACKET... with French fries in the pockets!?! That premise had me at hello, to overuse that phrase. THE RED JACKET was written and illustrated by Bob Holt. Stars of this show would seem to be seagulls, one in particular. But, upon a second glance, it must be the jacket, right? 

That's a reasonable response, until you read the book. Then you'll realize that the "star" of this story is a very real but abstract one we can all have, give away, and still have even more for ourselves. Obviously, I'm not talking French fries!

You've probably heard that description about love, and that's certainly true. Our hearts grow in capacity for love the more of it we give away. Yet this "star" doesn't require you to be as invested as loving others. We can change the lives of strangers, even casual acquaintances. If you doubt that, read this entertaining, delightfully ageless picture book. Creator Holt clarifies that in his dedication, but saves it for the end of the book so as not to be a spoiler.

How does someone create such a picture book that can soak to any age? Plenty have accomplished this, but THE RED JACKET uses a terrific blend of image and text and universal experiences. The illustration talent is evident from the cover, and does not disappoint throughout. Despite its vibrant, comic-style approach, every detail counts, including the most minimal gestures, body language, and facial expressions (on seagulls, crabs, turtles, and more). This visual narrative success allows Holt to combine wordless spreads with others that include speech-bubble minimal text, while relying on common-knowledge awareness of the risks of living beachside. There, massive waves can sneak up on you and change your life. The very youngest will "get" every page, and audiences of every age will read themselves into this situation, the relationships among the characters, and the inner life of central character, Seagull BOB.

In the opening spread Bob stands a few steps away from a squabble (one of several collective nouns for seagulls) on a seashore, where his face and posture reveal his belief that he is neither known nor welcomed as he'd like to be. Right there, it is easy to feel empathy, isn't iit? Perhaps it triggers similar emotional reactions  within our adult selves. (Think: first time attendee at a conference of "your people", or at a new school, or even at a social event to which you were invited. Or am I alone in this?) Kids feel all of the above, even a first day at a preschool. Tears are not all about separation anxiety, but include feelings about not belonging there. Within a day or two of breaking that wall to feel welcome, the worried kiddo races into class enthusiastically. 

That's the way this humorous and appealing story catches each of us where we are. A random act of kindness from a bird wearing a red coat helps Bob feel "seen", giving him the confidence to speak out, resulting in many surprise discoveries about his community, and about himself!

This story carries readers (again, of any age) on an emotional journey allowing self-reflection, developing empathy, and encouragement to notice "others" whose facial and body expressions suggest they might need to hear they are welcome. This doesn't burden each of us with being the endless "door-front greeter", but rather builds communities in which everyone sees themselves as empowered and having a voice.

The RED JACKET was the adaptive device that gave Bob his own voice. If all of this sounds heavy handed or didactic, that's unfortunate, because it is neither. It's a lively romp, layered with authentic emotions and humor, while inviting readers along for the ride. The SEL (social and emotional learning) potential of THE RED JACKET is boundless, but so is the re-again-potential. I hope you'll give this one a try and share it widely.

Du Iz Tak? Illustrations make all the Difference!

Candlewick Press, 2016

Whether you are new to this blog or a regular reader, the title of my blog should make it obvious that I value picture books far beyond their appeal as entertainment, concepts, stories, or information. I love picture books that accomplish any or all of the above, but especially so when they trigger brainwaves firing faster than any video game or other device could accomplish. That quality, in fact, is the basis for my many arguments that the true, wide audience for picture books is NOT limited to early ages.

Wordless books (examples here) often have that effect, as do books that require manipulation or physical engagement (examples here). In the case of this featured title, hold on to your brainwave caps and prepare for fun. 
DU IZ TAK? is written and illustrated by Carson Ellis. In addition to it's visual appeal and narrative, it's also an homage to communication and communities. In this case it's a community of fanciful, insect-y creatures who share a common language, but not one we would recognize. It works for any language, which I found to be particularly appealing in this image of the cover of the Chinese version, here.
This book received a 2016 CALDECOTT HONOR and starred reviews from KIRKUS, PUBLISHERS WEEKLY, and HORN BOOK, among many other well-deserved accolades. I hadn't intended to write a post about it because the glowing commentaries from voices more widely circulated than mine were numerous, and they included so many of the points I would have made here. 
And yet...
When I checked it out of the library for a second time, I realized there were so many rich ways to consider the depth of this book. There are sub-plots and visual narrative threads dealing with life cycles of plants and animals, with predator/prey interactions, with collaboration, communication, creative play, cause-effect chains, observation/inquiry models, and habitats in which communities abide.

Young readers (and older ones) come to various conclusions about how the invented language should be "translated". In general, many have arrived at this conclusion:

"Du iz tak?" translates as "What is that?"  

and 

"Ma nazoot." translates as "I don't know."

But even the use  of traditional punctuation leaves openings for dramatic differences of interpretation. Yes, the little critters' faces and their evolving scenes offer a degree of likelihood as to what they would be saying, but that is minimal. 

Let's just try those two lines with various attitudes attached:

What is THAT? (surprise? fright? excitement?)

What IS that? (revulsion, annoyance, irritation?)

WHAT is THAT? (shock, anxiety, demanding?)

and the possible responses:

I don't KNOW. (reflecting surprise, frustration, concern?)

I don't know. (annoyance, avoidance, confusion, even worry?)

I DON'T know. (denial, argument, irritation?)

And each page turn opens up additional options for assigning personalities and attitudes to each speaker. Which is to say, this is book that has a powerful effect on all readers, from the opening green, life-saturated endpapers to the final ones, and including each spread within the covers. The final spread presents the copyright/dedication but includes the dapper, mustachioed little caterpillar uttering his final "ta-ta!". 
I realized, after repeatedly examining page after page, that it was likely his smugness that drew me back to check it out again. That little dude seemed to know that there is no saying good-bye to this book. I encourage you to read it again, if you are already familiar with this winning book, or discover it for yourself and form your own opinions about these remarkable little chatters.
You won't regret it, and if you translate lines differently, I welcome your interpretation in the comments.