Grief and Loss: Nobody Does it Better than PICTURE BOOKS

 

TUNDRA BOOKS, 2022

Grief may not be continuous but is ubiquitous, a universal human experience at any age. Here's a story that takes every reader into the heart of loss and offers both empathy and a hopeful hand of comfort. RODNEY WAS A TORTOISE is written by Nan Forler and illustrated by Yong Ling Kang.

This particular story of the death of a nonhuman friend uses possibly the least likely critter as the pet who passes. Rodney a tortoise has outlived generations of Bernadette's family, is a constant companion whose ways are seen as fully compatible with friendship, and reveals his personality and affection in the most subtle of ways. Ways, though, that young Bernadette recognizes, appreciates, and embraces in her daily life and within her circle of family and friends.

The first pages of the story reveal all of the above and also allows the reader to develop a sense of connection, even affection, for Bernadette's "old pal" Rodney. When Rodney's slow style becomes evidently NO movement at all, Bernadette hopes that Rodney's "joker" style might mean he was simply holding his breath. She and her family come to terms with his passing with a family burial ceremony, near the lettuce patch, and by remembering the things Rodney had taught them:

"Be a pal. Slow down. Chew your food. Enjoy each piece of lettuce." 

Bernadette sings a goodbye song.

Some picture books about grief end there, providing a useful model for those heartbreaking goodbyes and inevitable losses.

But not this book. Things get quite a bit worse before they get better (hang in, please). Bernadette finds that her friends at school have nothing whatsoever to say about her loss. Despite having met Rodney at bring-a-pet-to-school day, they are quickly preoccupied with their own news and issues. Within their silence and busy-ness, Bernadette slips deeper and deeper into her own turtleneck and hoodie, isolating herself at recess time in a shell of sorrow. Eventually a classmate, Amar, climbs into her cloud of grief and asks about her sadness, sharing a single line about his own lost pet, then allowing time and space to just be there. 

This last stage of the process of gradual recovery and restoration of small joys in life is far less frequently explored in books dealing with grief. This offers so much realistic, eventual hope and resolution that it's a must-have title for those providing suggested "grief" picture books.

Another title that remains among my most often recommended was reviewed HERE, THE RABBIT LISTENED. Other titles addressing this topic are featured HERE, and HERE, and HERE. There are many other picture books that explore this fraught aspect of life, especially for young people. I suggest making a list and taking a look now, before life deals someone you love an experience for which there are so few answers or comports, other than time. There's no reason to imagine that a picture book will "fix" anything in such times of struggle, but they can, in fact, reflect and reassure, engage and even entertain.