Worry, Loss, and Grief: Picture Book Power to Comfort

 Covid 19 and Black Lives Matter- Anchor in time:

We are living in the stressful time for school age (through college) kids facing the greatly magnified anxiety of a back-to-school season unlike any other. Recent tragic losses in the news include more incomprehensible shootings in Kenosha and Portland, as well as the heartbreaking news that actor/creator Chadwick Boseman died of colon cancer. His iconic portrayals of Black heroes, in biopics (Jackie Robinson- 42, Thurgood Marshall- MARSHALL) and in fantasy (BLACK PANTHER) provided all audiences with positive and powerful screen images of Black men that have rarely been seen. Apart from the sad ending to his remarkable talent, I know of children who have grieved his death as if a family member has died.

Picture books are powerful in their ability to put the reader/audience in control of the narrative, providing the ability to move forward and back through story and images, to pause and return to the books over time. Individuals can immerse themselves in stories that are not their own, but feel as if they are. As such, they are able to develop empathy for the intense emotions revealed, and also draw reassurance from the resolutions that are possible as the pages continue to turn.

Two picture books that feel very timely include one that will release in coming weeks, and one that has been available for two decades. 

Kane Miller Books, September, 2020

Let's begin by considering THE PERFECT SHELTER, written by Clare Helen Welsh and illustrated by Asa Gilland. The pages open with loving and uplifting text and images of a diverse family, including two sisters and their parents enjoying a day outdoors. The only suggestion of impending trouble is the short first line:

"At first, nobody knew."

These two lighthearted sisters join forces and use natural materials to create a shelter, one that any kid would love to inhabit. Despite her enthusiasm, the older sister needs to take rests, and the puzzled younger sister feels confusion and senses a pending problem. 

The repetitive language patterns and  rebuilding after storms allows the younger sister's first person voice to sustain a hopeful tone. Then, quite quickly, the older sister sees a doctor and has surgery. The narrator ignores the often-stated "show-don't-tell" advice for writers when she admits to her feelings. 

"I was too worried." 

"In the hospital I felt cross, and sad, and frightened, 

all at the same time."

In this case the choice feels exactly right. The rapid and serious plot developments, the jumble of emotions, the evocative and expressive art all open the heart to those times when the world overwhelms any singular neat response. The pace at which sister returns home, begins to recover, and resumes their shelter-building in bed restores hope and comfort. Even though an adult will recognize the reality and implications in early days of the older sister's medical journey, this invites a celebration of hope and realization that living in-the-moment is one of the greatest joys available to us all. 

Original 1999, Clarion, 2004

If anyone has a knack for storytelling with deep emotion it is surely author Eve Bunting, Just check out the amazing titles she has produced on this summary page, HERE. 

In RUDI'S POND, illustrated by Ronald Himler, readers meet Rudi as a friend, neighbor, and classmate of the first-person narrator. In the early pages we experience the joy and creativity of their friendship, of their shared love of nature, and of the girl's uncertain awareness that Rudi is not as strong or well as she is. 

Soon, as soon as we have shared the narrator's love of her friend, Rudi goes to the hospital, too. In this case, his stay is long, and he dies there. The child fully experiences the grief and loss, wrapped in the support and love of her parents. When given an opportunity to create a remembrance at school, she recalls their shared times at a pond. She and classmates incorporate other nature elements, and she shares the hummingbird feeder Rudi had helped create. 

The comfort derived from shared memories, passing of time, and the possibilities related to the returning hummingbird offer the perspective of the very young and and of a very old soul. 

Both books indicate the stories arose from personal experiences, and they both wrap readers in the assurance and comfort that loved ones can be relied upon to strengthen us through loss. Neither shies away from the depth of emotions that worry and illness and loss bring to lives, but both instill strength and resilience. Children often fear a trip to the hospital, for themselves. A PERFECT SHELTER will offer reassurance, and RUDI'S POND may be helpful to children when illness results in death. 

Sadly, the reality of death is pervasive in daily life, especially now, and even for young children. Using picture books BEFORE, DURING, and AFTER personal experiences with grief can prepare and fortify children for the emotional turmoil they will certainly encounter. Some prior posts about picture books involving death can be found HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, and  HERE. 

I urge adults to immerse kids (of every age) in picture books, now more than ever. Books dealing with joy, grief, humor, science, nature... with EVERY-THING! I don't believe I am alone when I say that 2020 has reduced attention spans (including mine), riled up and confused emotions (including mine), and presented  us with never-ending waves of news and challenges that feel unimaginable to handle on our own. 

And yet they are real. 

Let picture books help. They can provide relief, escape, connection, and every other human exploration in the best possible, most controllable ways possible- in our own laps.